Fatherhood Without Brit Mila

My wife is pregnant. This is great, because it means I get to be responsible for making sure whatever comes out of there doesn’t kill itself accidentally. From what I hear, babies put everything in their mouths for the evolutionarily advantageous reason that if you put everything in your mouth all the time, you’ll every […]

Passover Cleaning

Once a year, Jews around the world participate in the ritual of giving their houses the equivalent of a full body cavity search. They’ll have you think that they do it because the Torah commands them to get rid of chametz on Passover or something like that, but the real reason is that they’ve lost […]

Jewish Pregnancy and Poetry

When I was in seventh grade, I had an English class where we had to compile a book of our own poetry, which is where you try to say something about stuff by using words that haven’t been employed since the penning of Beowulf and sentence structure that would confuse Yoda enough to have him […]